Bitter Unicorn Tears

Born in Clayton, North Carolina, Bitter Unicorn Tears is an India pale lager brewed by the Deep River Brewing Company. The 16oz can features a weeping, rainbow sneezing, orange haired blue unicorn. It's listed at a punchy 7.2% alcohol.

It's a hazy, golden brew. It poured with a nice cap of white head. It has a slightly spicy, floral hops nose. The beer is quite dry and a bit yeasty. Less bitter than I expected, but still modestly hoppy, with a floral bent.

While the best thing about Bitter Unicorn Tears was its name and packaging, it was a pretty decent little offering. Nice flavour and strength, but a little thin.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10.

Hops & Bolts India Pale Lager

Hops & Bolts India Pale Lager comes from Creemore, Ontario. It's built by Mad & Noisy Brewing, which appears to be related to Creemore Springs Brewery, which in turn is owned by Molson. It's sold in 473mL cans, contains 5.3% alcohol, and tips the scale at a muscular 60 IBUs. "Not for the faint of hops", says the can.

H & B is an almost clear copper lager topped with a thick 'n' creamy off white head--it looks a lot like an English ale. The nose has considerable metallic hops notes, as well as a waft of spicy grain. This beer is initially malty and grainy, but only for an instant before it veers sharply toward bitter. It finishes dryly with emphasis on hops--though it's also a bit tinny. The can had me prepared to taste grapefruit, nut, chocolate, and caramel. I can't say I found all of that. I definitely tasted some citrus notes, and also some caramel. Nuts and chocolate were beyond the range of my feeble palate.

All told, this was a reasonably enjoyable little concoction. I'd buy it again, though it'll never be a refrigerator staple in my house.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10.

Hoparazzi India Pale Lager

Hoparazzi India Pale Lager is brewed by the Parallel 49 Brewing Company in Vancouver, British Columbia. I had a couple of bottles as part of a variety six-pack (stay tuned for the other two varieties). The 341mL bottle features a camera-wielding dude in a hop-patterned shirt. It contains 5.5% alcohol. It's a modestly hazy brew, slightly reddish gold in colour, and topped with a thick off-white head.

Hoparrazi has a pretty fair imitation of the malty caramel and bitter hops aroma of an I.P.A. The underlying pale lager seems to be a hop platform--it's crisp, but doesn't contribute much to the flavour. The bulk of the flavour is focused on delivering a bitter, resinous hp charge. The beer starts sweet, but veers bitter-ward quickly.

I was pretty skeptical at the outset, but this brew proved to be an interesting and enjoyable concoction. It's not something that I'd reach for regularly, but a cool once-in-a-while bottle. If I were going to hop up a lager, I'd probably try to invoke citrus notes. Parallel 49 opted for a more resin-based hop, a choice that yielded respectable results. I'd love to know what the IBU count is for this stuff.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10.