Crazy Beard Wild Apple Ale

Crazy Beard Wild Apple Ale is a bit of a mystery. It's called an ale, but the can describes it as an "alcoholic malt beverage", and it smells and tastes like a cider. What gives?

Whatever it is, it contains 5.2% alcohol and comes in loud and lurid 473mL cans. The cans, which feature the somewhat insensitive slogan "crazy has never tasted so good", are adorned with a woolly gentleman wielding a pair of axes. It's brewed in Oakville, Ontario, by an outfit called Sage Mixology Bottle Manufacturing Inc. There's a story of Crazy Beard and his special ale, too, but I don't care enough to recount it.

According to the can, the ingredients include carbonated water, citric and malic acid, natural flavour, caramel, neutral spirit, and more. It also declares that there are no preservatives. Notably absent are apples.

Crazy Beard is a nice, very clear amber colour. It pours with no real head, and shows very little carbonation. It has a crisp, candied apple aroma that is more cider than beer. The flavour has a lot of sweet apple leanings, but also an unsettling aspartame vibe, particularly through the finish.

I did not care for Crazy Beard. It was thin, synthetic tasting, and most importantly, not anything like an ale. My wife described it as "rancid candy". While I wouldn't go that far, it certainly wasn't my cup of tea. It should be noted that I'm not a fan of ciders--someone who is might dig this stuff much more than I. The chief lesson here is not to say "ale" if you don't mean "ale".

Rating: 3.5 out of 10.